I wish I only lived at night.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize