Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
