We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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