Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
