DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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