Screwed.edu
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
