nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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