I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
