He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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