That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
