yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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