I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
