Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
