oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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