you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
