16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize