no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
