So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
