He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I looked at my own cervix.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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