i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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