Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
