Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
