I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
