Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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