Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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