I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
