4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize