Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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