When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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