swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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