Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
