Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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