operation harelip BJ is a go
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
