my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize