11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You're earring is so big in my mouth
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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