i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize