i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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