Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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