I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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