it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
