I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
