I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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