you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
