new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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