Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
