Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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