I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
