I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
