its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
