turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
