The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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