So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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