this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
