I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
well you can't waste a boner
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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