So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
