if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
