it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
